Posted by: drizl | October 24, 2009

Hearing Voices

When do you know? Do you ever really know? Is it that stupid little voice in the back of your head asking you over and over what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Do you really think your writing is good enough to be published? Do you really think this story is something anyone will want to read?

And yet, there is a drive, a desperate crazy irrational need to keep writing. To try and find the best way to fit the words together and create a good story. One that really is worth publishing and yes, that people will actually want to read.

There must be two little voices running around in my head.  I really hate the negative one, but sometimes it’s so freaking loud I can’t hear anything but the awful rantings. Why are you doing this to yourself? Are you crazy? How could this every work out for you? I don’t fucking know! Shut up Shut up!

What I do know is that I’m tired of regrets. The other little voice is screaming from the back row trying to be heard. Somedays I swear to God that good little voice has been set on mute. Je ne regrette rien ~ that saying will soon become a permenant part of me when I get it tattooed on my skin.  I have no regrets, so I’ll keep writing and on the days the awful voice is drowning out everything good I’ll remember to keep the writing going because it will be worth it.  It has to be!

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