Posted by: drizl | September 1, 2010

Did Ya Ever…

Did ya ever want something so bad that it consumes you? Did ya ever get so freaking scared that it would never happen and everything you were doing was for nothing…Did ya ever close your eyes and wonder if you had gone stark raving mad and you didn’t know how to fix things? Frack…well…I’m having a did ya ever day. Feeling all crazy and stressed out because I’m overwhelmed with deadlines and writing and everything seems so forced that I want to gag when I reread…deep breath…And then it starts all over again. I have so many projects in the works that I’m freaking drowning in them. Nothing is moving forward at the moment. I feel like I’m sitting in the middle of a swamp, slowly sinking in the muck and if I move it just gets worse.

So…how do I get out of this place and up on dry land. I really don’t like being in the swamp…it’s gross and smelly. Erm, get some new music on the ITouch…Okay..what sort…I decided to go with some upbeat dance music and downloaded some Cascada. Makes me want to get up and dance around the room when the beat hits my ears. Not really helpful when trying to write, but it is uplifting when I work out. Downloaded a Breaking Benjamin Song called I Will Not Bow...Angry music. Makes me clench my jaw and think I need to get to work, that I can do anything. Grrrrr… Not bad.

“I’m not giving in. I will not bow. I will not break…” Words to live by…

Hmm, next song by Breaking Benjamin called Dear Agony…more mellow…”I will end where I began… Dear Agony just let go of me. Suffer slowly is this the way its gotta be. Dear Agony”…Emo Song…Change the song…Eminem…Not Afraid…Very inspirational…”I don’t give a damn what you think. I’m doing this for me.” Yeah, so Fuck Off and get the hell out of my way. I’m doing this!

Holy Crow! Did ya ever want to crawl into your closet and hide…from everything and everyone? Did ya ever want to hide from Real Life and disappear into your imagination? Well, I suppose that’s why I write, cuz most of the time, I like my imaginary world better than my real world. I haven’t decided if that’s a good thing, a bad thing or if it really doesn’t matter…cuz really who gives a shit. I sometimes feel I could disappear and no one would notice…Not a good thought to have…Okay, I think it’s time to put some of the Cascada dance music on…Let’s get happy people!



  1. Hey Drizl…Yep I totes you, and I love Breaking Benjamin…”I will not Bow” was one of my F@ck off songs on RAoR a couple of weeks ago…I listen to lots of BB, and Three Doors Down, NIN’s and NickelBack when I’m Furious.

    Nice post today bb….Hope your writing lots and doing well! I totes you on most of what you’ve said. That is why RAoR is so great…we get to escape RL shiz and go Perv on the Pretty!!!

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