Posted by: drizl | April 14, 2011

DOUBT

Ugh…I cannot be creative when I have the crud…or in other words, one hell of a cold…Today is the first day since my vacation that I feel well enough to sit down and write a complete sentence. Does my writing a complete sentence excite anyone? Apparently not because yes, I got another rejection…blah, blah, there’s someone out there for you, blah…I think I’m going to have to create this person, make them up, because I’m beginning to doubt they really exist.

DOUBT….

1. Feel uncertain about

2. Question the truth or fact of

I hate that word but it has become a part of my every day vocabulary. What would life be like to exist without doubt? To not know doubt? What would it be like to be so sure of your work and never feel that small niggle in your belly asking that question…are you sure you’re good enough? And what if you’re not? It’s a horrible thought that sits on my head heavy like a reminder that it may not work out, which scares me to death. All writer’s, musicians, artists, hell, I’m sure everyone has doubt…

To help combat this doubt thing, I look for inspirational words to offset the negative feelings. Actually, I text a quote a day out to friends who want to be on the list. Today’s quote was…

I will be grateful for this day…..

But sometimes, it’s just easier to give in to the rotten thoughts and drown in them…lucky for me, there has always been someone nearby to drag me out of the undertow and bring me to the surface….everyone needs a support system and I’m thankful I have one and even though I don’t use it very often, I still know it’s there.

It’s during moments of doubt that I need that small sign to float down or spring up to show me that I am doing the right thing…I believe I’ll open my eyes and ears today and look for such a sign….Or maybe I’ll just get the broom out and sweep today’s doubt under the bed….It’s getting a little crowded under there!



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