Posted by: drizl | April 14, 2011

DOUBT

Ugh…I cannot be creative when I have the crud…or in other words, one hell of a cold…Today is the first day since my vacation that I feel well enough to sit down and write a complete sentence. Does my writing a complete sentence excite anyone? Apparently not because yes, I got another rejection…blah, blah, there’s someone out there for you, blah…I think I’m going to have to create this person, make them up, because I’m beginning to doubt they really exist.

DOUBT….

1. Feel uncertain about

2. Question the truth or fact of

I hate that word but it has become a part of my every day vocabulary. What would life be like to exist without doubt? To not know doubt? What would it be like to be so sure of your work and never feel that small niggle in your belly asking that question…are you sure you’re good enough? And what if you’re not? It’s a horrible thought that sits on my head heavy like a reminder that it may not work out, which scares me to death. All writer’s, musicians, artists, hell, I’m sure everyone has doubt…

To help combat this doubt thing, I look for inspirational words to offset the negative feelings. Actually, I text a quote a day out to friends who want to be on the list. Today’s quote was…

I will be grateful for this day…..

But sometimes, it’s just easier to give in to the rotten thoughts and drown in them…lucky for me, there has always been someone nearby to drag me out of the undertow and bring me to the surface….everyone needs a support system and I’m thankful I have one and even though I don’t use it very often, I still know it’s there.

It’s during moments of doubt that I need that small sign to float down or spring up to show me that I am doing the right thing…I believe I’ll open my eyes and ears today and look for such a sign….Or maybe I’ll just get the broom out and sweep today’s doubt under the bed….It’s getting a little crowded under there!



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Posted by: drizl | April 7, 2011

The Road Most Follow…

Ya know, this was probably the one time in my life that I would be happy with taking the traditional road, but as I continue down this long winding path, it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen that way. I still have querys out in the cyberspace but my optimism has suddenly hit an all time low. Soon, instead of a tack, I will need a stake for all my Rejection Slips.

The success of Amanda Hocking with Self Publishing makes me think it may soon be time to slip Into the Hourglass into the world of self publishing. I guess if anything it would get me to finish the trilogy. The third book is not complete and the second is in need of a major edit because I changed the first book to a true Young Adult novel. That age stuff still annoys the crap right out of me. It’s like no characters between the ages of 19-22 exist because the publishing world doesn’t know how to categorize the book. Is it adult or young adult? Seriously, if I had a choice, I would rather write about characters who are in that age group because for most of us, it was the time when we first left home. Some of us went off to college in a different city and man, did that open up a whole new can of experiences. I don’t know about you, but my college years were a hell of a lot more interesting than my high school years.

This weekend I’m hitting the road in search of an attitude adjustment. Along with an attitude adjustment, I may also pick up a hangover or two. Yes, I’m flying down south to meet up with my college friends and possibly, okay the possibility is probably 100%, that I will have a drink or two and listen to a band or two and talk about all the stupid things we did when we were younger. I’m also going to soak up some sun and warmth. Winter was long and I’m tired of dirty, gray, cold weather.

And maybe, when I’m away, I’ll find a dandelion to make a wish on…

Oooh, maybe I’ll run into Robert Pattinson or Jackson Rathbone flying somewhere…now that’s a wish worth making…snicker…

 

 

Posted by: drizl | March 30, 2011

New Songs for the PlayList

I’m sick of talking about rejections and agents and self publishing and books, so today let’s focus on music, because I’ve added a few awesome songs to my playlist. The first song that I can’t get enough of is Adele’s Someone Like You…it’s haunting and after I discovered it, it showed up on Grey’s Anatomy. A rather appropriate depressing song that I added is by Linkin Park called Iridescent

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known. Remember all the sadness and frustration And let it go. Let it go.

Absolutely perfect…

Another surprising addition to my playlist is Kid Rock’s new cd…Born Free…Purple Sky, Times Like These and When It Rains It Pours….Actually I like the entire which is rare indeed…The only pain in the ass thing about Kid Rock is that his music is not available on ITunes….yeah, he’s still being stubborn about the whole money thing and the quality of the music…whatever…sort of reminds me of self publishing and traditional publishing because we all know that anyone who self publishes can’t be as good as the person who got signed by a “real” publishing house…YEAH RIGHT..SEE THE SHOUTY CAPS AND THE SARCASM DRIPPING FROM MY WORDS….I’ve read Fanfiction that is better than some published novels….Right, we were talking about music….

Uh, Panic! At the Disco just released a new CD and I downloaded two songs to start….The Ballad of Mona Lisa and Memories…I just like their music…

And on a happier danceable note…I downloaded JTX Love in America and Usher’s More…They both make me wanna do a little chair dancing….

Okay I know I wasn’t going to talk about writing but my “Fake” writing…in other words my fanfiction stuff is getting noticed again. I was asked by a group of authors to contribute a chapter to a story, which I did…My funny Slash fic, 180 Days (plus weekends and holidays) is getting a lot of hits and was mentioned on another Blog and the old standard, Game On Baby was featured on another Blog…the hits have increased….

Guess I’ll catch ya on the flip side…for those of you who don’t understand that saying…unlike CDs, albums have two sides…Bwahahahahaha….Keep Writing and listening to music…

Posted by: drizl | March 27, 2011

Not even Sunday is Safe from Rejections…

Another one came today…a Sunday. A rejection on a Sunday…it said the same thing as the other two, after reading, let’s see, this one was the query letter and the first ten pages, I don’t connect with the work, BUT that’s not to say that another agent won’t connect with the work. Please continue on with the search and best of luck…SIGH…

Life’s real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up…

I suppose I could sit here and whine which I really want to do, but there are probably thousands of frustrated writers in the same boat as me. We question why we were (oOoooOoo it’s 11:11…make a wish…again) given this gift if it’s not going to come to fruition. Sometimes I think this is my private hell and I’m being tortured…I’m standing outside the door but I have no idea how to get in the damn thing. Sometimes I can touch the doorknob but it doesn’t turn and it’s maddening.

I have no clue what I’m doing and everyone has an opinion and they are all different except for the part where they tell you to keep trying. Is it selfish to want to be successful?

Posted by: drizl | March 25, 2011

Self Publishing Success

And the wait continues….tick, tock, Tick, Tock, TICK FUCKING TOCK….good grief, waiting for responses from agents is awful…

So, a friend of mine sent me a story about a self-published author who hit the jackpot with her stories. It’s an amazing read. She published on Amazon and ISBN and sold more than a million books. Last week, there was a bidding war for the rights to publish her next books. St. Martin’s press paid two million dollars for the privilege…

Of course, after reading that my mind is going a million miles a minute…if she can do it why not me…I have a degree in Advertising…maybe it’s time to put the thing to work…and then the other half of my brain whines a little…you know, just once, it would be nice to do things the traditional way…ya know, find an agent…they do the leg work to sell the book…big publishing house prints book…book sells…BUT then my brain shouts at me…WHEN HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TRADITIONAL…Good point…I’m going to do more research. I still have several querys out in the world and the full is still in the hands of an editor, but re-reading all the rejections from the past it seems like it’s never going to happen. I know any personal response is good from an agent, but there still isn’t a yes in there. They must see something…right…panicking right now…snicker…not really, but this success story really is nice to hear. Maybe it’s time for the traditional publishing business to relax a little bit…they can’t know everything…people (and yes, some of them aren’t even my friends) that have read my story liked it a lot. One even went as far as saying …. someday we can say we knew her when…That was one of the highest compliments anyone has ever paid me and my writing and I’ll never forget it…

So, now my mind is filled with marketing strategies and cover art and Hope…Hope that someday, I’ll hold a published book in my hand with my name on it, that people want to read and fuck…maybe I can quit wishing on 11:11 and dandelion puff and eyelashes and looking for four leaf clovers….naw, that’ll never happen…I’m too superstitious…

If anyone is interested, here’s the link to Amanda Hocking’s Blog…

http://amandahocking.blogspot.com/

Posted by: drizl | March 19, 2011

Skillful (TWSS) Writer seeks paying gig…

Well, fuck…started putting out querys again and got my first rejection…although it was a lovely rejection, it still sucks! According to this agent, I’m a very skillful writer but she just didn’t fully connect with the voice and the story premise was interesting but she didn’t know how to market it…I guess we writers need to start including a marketing plan as well…Doesn’t that mean we should just skip the agent and do the publishing ourselves. Maybe I should open a publishing house because then I wouldn’t have to say I self published. It’s a book for chrissakes. It tells a story and that’s how you market it.  Um, Right….This query stuff has a tendency to drive me insane.

Actually, I should be happy the agent responded because most don’t anymore. I’ve bitched about that before and it was nice that this agent used my name, the name of the book and was very encouraging. So, the real question is what now? I still have several querys out there and I’m still totally in love with my story so I’m not going to let it go just yet. It seems that they ask for new ideas but then don’t know what to do with them when they come around.

The next story I’m working on has the basic wizards, witches, faeries, vampires…ya know the normal paranormal stuff…but with my own twist of course…Maybe I should try writing some porn er, I mean erotica for the paying market. The fanfic market seems to like what I write. Thank god for that avenue, it feeds my ego and helps keep me going with the writing. I’m not sitting all alone in my cave chanting omg they all hate my writing. Why am I doing this…I fucking suck…(okay I may do that every once in awhile, but not too often)

Well, that’s it for today…The real world is yanking me by the hair to get moving today….laters, Drizl

Posted by: drizl | March 15, 2011

querying is like being naked in front of everyone…

Okay before we get into the actual post today…BWahahahaha…um, I looked at some of the some of the searches that have brought people to this blog….F*ck, sweetdirtydraco…has to be my favorite with Jackson Rathbone with his pants down running a close second…where would one find that? If you have any idea please contact me and I will be there with bells on…I don’t ever remember writing about Jbone with his pants down. I don’t think I’ve ever used the words Sweet Dirty Draco but I plan to use them daily now. Sweet Dirty Draco…


Sorry..this post was supposed to be about querying and playing that fucking waiting game again. I swear it’s getting on my last unfrayed nerve….I know I’ve written about it before, but it seems to be getting more and more common every day. If we are not interested, we will not respond…To me that says….because well, you’re not worth our time. I can’t be bothered to take three minutes to email a No. Jeesh, I took the time to email you, can’t you at least answer me back…just push reply…it’s not that difficult. Groan…off on a tangent again…Querying does weird shit to me. It makes me feel crazy and exposed, but I know it’s a necessary evil of the publishing world. I also notice I’ve gotten extremely superstitious about when to query. I look at the dates and read my horoscope and decide if it’s a good day to query. I feel like I’m losing my mind, but I need all the good karma I can find. I’ve started to keep a small journey with daily goals and one quote.

Dear Eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles…DO YOUR JOB…Please tell me you understand that quote. I’m sure all the superstitious people get it. I know I did.

We all dream about something. We all want things. I’m trying to keep a level head and tell myself that I’ll have no regrets because I tried, but f*ck I admit it…I want to succeed. Trying is awesome because if we didn’t try, we would never find success…Right now I’m waiting for that success to come…

Posted by: drizl | March 8, 2011

To Chasing Dreams….

ARGH….I just pushed send and off went my manuscript to be read by an Editor. I feel weird and sick and light headed and scared and relieved and…well, you get the idea. I’m a little fucked up at the moment. But, I’ve decided I’m not going to sit and wait for word from them, I’m going to query other agents and see if I can get anymore interest in the story. I also want to work on some new original stuff. I’m still writing fanfiction but that’s for the instant gratification. I have more stories floating around in my head and I’m ready to start some new stuff. Jeesh, I’m buzzing right now.  My thoughts are jumbled and I feel like I should go run around the block a few times. Too bad it’s still winter here. Pretty tired of winter!

So, now that I’ve got the manuscript polished and preened to almost perfection (hahahahaha) I need to write a fantastic Query letter. I don’t really like writing them, but I recognize that they are a necessary evil in this business. So is the synopsis and I’m so bad at writing those. And they did this and then this happened and so on and so on and bleh…I never was good at writing book reports. I figure if you can tell a story in 5 pages, what’s the point of expanding it to 325…grumble…just read the manuscript…

OH and this is the last time I’m revising the story…the main character went from nineteen…which apparently is not a good age to be if you are a character in a novel…probably won’t get published because no one knows where to put it…YA or adult…anyway, my main character went from 19 to 17 and you can’t just change the ages and leave the story the same. What a pain in the ass…never, ever will I do that again, but as I’ve said before, it will make a good ‘don’t ever do this shit’ story to tell up and coming writers when I’m lecturing…bwahahahaha…I seem to be dreaming out loud….next…get this…I’m going to send the first three chapters of this story to an agent…but, you guessed it, it’s been rewritten as an adult story…rolls eyes…if that agent asks for a full I may have to pull my hair out, but I’ll make it work. Besides it is sorta funny, in a stupid person sorta way. I swear it will get a roomful of writers to laugh…

Anyway, I think I’m gonna go have a stiff drink and practice breathing normal…

Before I go…let’s do some more dreaming out loud

Posted by: drizl | February 21, 2011

Time to do the Edits…

2-27-09…It’s been almost two years to the day since I picked up a proverbial pen and paper (pens/paper have been replaced by a computer) and started writing. Today I finished the rewrite for my YA. Tomorrow I’m starting the edit and by 2-27-11 I’m going to push the send button to the Editor who is waiting for the story. Tonight I’m celebrating by watching Twilight since that is the reason all this shit started. The journey to this point has been incredibly weird and I’m hoping that it’s going to get even weirder! I want a wild and crazy life. Um, where was I…lost my train of thought when Edward walked into the cafeteria…hehehe…I know the photo isn’t the cafeteria strut but this was one of my favorite scenes int the movie…Edward, Shades and MuteMath…I’m so off track about talking about writing right now and I totally can’t concentrate on anything when Edward’s on the screen.  I know it’s a short post but I’ll do another post within the next few days. 

Posted by: drizl | February 14, 2011

Get Your List Out!

First of all Happy Valentine’s Day…

If that picture isn’t enough to inspire you…there’s something wrong with you!  Just sayin’ 

Okay, let’s get down to business.  I started something yesterday to keep me on the straight and narrow as far as goals are concerned. I’ve always been fascinated with writing lists. I mean any type of list from a grocery list to a list of goals. If I don’t take a list to the grocery store, I come home with shit I don’t need and forget the reason why I went there in the first place. So, I decided to put my love of lists to the test. I needed a few guidelines or I’d just write one long overwhelming list and that wouldn’t work. I picked the number six. There’s no special significance to that number, it was random. I suppose in reality the number is five because writing is always on the list. The word count goal changes daily.

I also have a word or quote of the day, which I write after the goals. Some goals are fun, some suck, others are just meh. I’ll give you an example. Yesterday, my list included going to the movies, which turned out to be a MEH goal. Just Go With It had potential to be a good movie but there was too many stupid, lame things in it. Also on the list was laundry (yuck) and riding the bike (I suppose exercise is a good thing) and writing 2000 words…which I achieved! The word of the day was Believe…

Today was much of the same except I had to include going to the gym and writing 2500 words. Yeah, I’ve surpassed that today! The quote of the day was

Everyone dies….but not everyone really lives ~ adapted from Braveheart

So far, the idea is awesome. I get the shitty stuff done but also, I am reminded that I need to keep writing. I think it helps to see the word count number on paper. I want to reach the goal. And I’m so close to completing this rewrite that I can taste it. God, I wanna finish this rewrite! Not only because it needs to be done, but also because I’m dying to write some new stuff!

I guess the message of this blog is do whatever it takes to inspire yourself to reach for the stars. Your dreams are important and going after them should be a part of everyone’s life. Life is really for living! Go after the things you want and Believe in your Dreams!

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